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  • Writer's pictureAuthentic Essential

I AM...or am NOT my choices?

I have been the queen of avoiding making choices. Even something as simple as thinking about what I would write about today and having to make a firm decision about today’s topic could make me anxious or make me doubt whether it’s the “right” or “wrong” choice to make. Ironically, however, choosing not to make a decision is a choice in itself.

Is there really such a thing as making a “right” or “wrong” decision? To consider an answer, I am going to insert a quote by Deepak Chopra:

Choose happiness

If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling and action that you experience.

To a certain extent, I agree with this. The idea actually reminds me of an eerie Black Mirror episode called Bandersnatch. In Bandersnatch, you have various parallel realities (or unrealities) and every choice you make shapes the plotline and outcome of the story in a completely different way. There was not one “right” or “wrong” outcome (although they were all distinctly disturbing), just different possibilities created by different choices. 

Although I would prefer not to compare my life to Bandersnatch, I would prefer not to obsess over whether I’m making the correct decision everytime I’m trying to choose whether I want to go to a sushi or pizza restaurant for dinner. And then I have to agonise over the painful decision of what kind of sushi or pizza to eat once I get to the restaurant, of course. Oh, the challenges…

On the other hand, I have also believed that everything happens for a reason, which would mean that there is a fixed plan for us - our destiny or purpose, so to speak. The truth is, however, that our choices make up our life experience, whether they are part of a pre-ordained plan or a series of possibilities. I’m not talking about the sushi vs. pizza choice now (as important as it is). I’m talking about the choices we make about our attitude, our mindset. The choice to view situations either negatively or positively. The choice to react out of frustration or find the willingness to understand and view things from an alternative perspective. The choice to act on our momentary feelings, or wait for them to pass.

Trust me, I have battled with all of these choices, probably because they are the most meaningful choices I will make in my life. Decisions such as moving to another country, accepting a new job, or buying a house are, in fact, secondary choices to these. You see, I believe you could live in your dream house, in your dream country, and have your dream job, but still wonder whether you made a good choice or whether you would be happier somewhere else. Therefore, the only choice that can make us truly happy is the one we make in our inner being.

Ultimately, I make the choice of how I face every single day. No matter what horrors or emotional rollercoaster may be waiting for me, I decide how I’m going to confront them. I choose to face the horrors as the most amusing house of horrors I’ve ever been in, and the emotional rollercoaster actually sounds pretty thrilling! Now that I think of it, I choose to treat life as one big amusement park. But wait…which ride will I go on first!? Oh, the choices…

Questions: When was the last time I faced a difficult decision? How can I change my mindset to be at peace with my choices? How can I change my choices to be at peace with my mind?

Affirmations: I am at peace with my decisions, and I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I choose happiness.

Yours Authentically,



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