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  • Writer's pictureAuthentic Essential

I am NOT others' thoughts

Updated: May 29

“It doesn't matter what others think about you" is one of those quotes that is certainly easier said than done, but do we ever really stop to think why we care so much about what other people think of us? Have we truly thought about why it matters? Do we question why it is any concern of ours? 


Before all of the above, I would actually start with the following question: What is the worst that can happen if someone thinks poorly of you? First of all, we are not mind readers, so our minds are only ever inventing what they want to believe others are thinking about us. And even if we were able to read minds, we are talking about thoughts in other people's heads, not actions (which we've been through before buddies, re https://www.authenticessential.com/post/i-am-not-other-people-s-actions). Thoughts in themselves do not put us in immediate danger, or harm us physically. Someone might think you are the most embarrasing human walking, and the world, and more importantly you would stay just the same. So, if thoughts are only a floating concept in the madness of the mind, what can another person’s thoughts change about your being?


The answer is, nothing - unless you believe their thoughts to be the absolute truth, in which case you are saying their subjective thoughts (that, may I remind you, are a creation of their own life experiences and mind-made connections) create objective reality? That must mean if they think the sky is falling the next day, it's a reflection of reality too, right? Apologies for the abundance of question marks, but please note that I am not asking these questions on a theoretical level, because surely you can attribute the constructs of society to why we must care about what others think in order to thrive or even survive. However, on the level of being, what effect do others’ thoughts truly have on you? Will it change who you are fundamentally?


The response is, once again, no. It will only change your mind if you let it. Of course we should choose our moments to care when it comes to compassion, but please know the difference between when to allow others’ thoughts to become part of yours, and when not. At the end of the day, they are still just thoughts (maybe with some dirty  looks thrown in here or there or the odd unwarranted opinion, but that comes back to people’s own judgement of themselves), and once you internalise that, you get to choose to not care.


All things considered, whether for good or for bad, people’s thoughts inherently have nothing to do with your being. In fact, once you start to focus more on your own thoughts rather than those of others, and concentrate on finding the beauty in other people and viewing the world through a loving lens, you may just come to realise that those thoughts you were afraid of others having do not even exist. It was just your own thoughts telling you that all along.


Questions: I think we've had enough questions for one day...Let's continue to ponder all of the above🤍


Affirmations: I have the power to choose what I care about. I find beauty in everything around me and I choose to focus my thoughts on the positive.



Yours Authentically,

Vanessa

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