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  • Writer's pictureAuthentic Essential

I am NOT other people's actions

This one seems obvious, right? According to The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kichimi and Fumitake Koga, “The road to happiness is all about the separation of tasks, about only taking responsibility for your own actions and not others'.” In reality, however, this is easier said than done. Especially when it comes to believing that we are worthy or unworthy of someone else’s actions, or believing that their perceptions of us define who we are, as I did for many years of my life. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, a subconscious belief that I carried with me for a long time was that “I am not enough” based on others’ poor treatment of me.

The crucial concept to grasp is that other people cannot define who we are, no matter how hard they might try. This is because their perception of us and behaviour towards us is simply a projection of themselves, or rather, a reflection of their minds, which includes their own past experiences, insecurities, and judgements. Most of the time, this is so subconscious that people will not even be aware of it, but don’t let them fool you into thinking their suppressions are directly related to you. At times they may even use you as an excuse to manifest the madness of their minds, using you as a vessel to express emotions of anger or frustration, for example.

I am not other people's actions

So, please know that your true being has nothing to do with how other people decide to treat or view you through the subjective lens of their mind. Once we internalise this, we are another step closer to freedom and our true being. I’ll finish with another quote from The Courage to Be Disliked: “Other people are not living to satisfy your expectations,” nor are you living to satisfy theirs. You are here to live your truth, to just be. And once you do that, you will indeed gain the courage to be disliked, because you know that in your being, you are enough, and nobody can take that away from you.

Questions: Do I allow other people's actions to make me feel "less than"? What does their behaviour say about them and what does it say about me?

Affirmations: I only take responsibility of my own actions. I am enough.

Yours Authentically,



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